If You See Him
by coolhandluke
Summary: This is a story about Luke and Lorelai. They have broken up, but they both miss each other terribly. Will they be able to overcome their problems and get back together? Or will they be forced to live without each other, left with only memories of the past
1. Default Chapter

Title: If You See Him  
Author: coolhandluke  
Pairing: Luke/Lorelai  
Rating: PG

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gilmore Girls or any of the characters. Those lovely characters and anything to do with the show all belong to the WB and Amy Sherman-Palladino. I also do not own the song lyrics used, which belong to Reba and Brooks Dunn.

**Summary: **This is a story about Luke and Lorelai. They have broken up, but they both miss each other terribly. Will they be able to overcome their problems and get back together? Or will they be forced to live without each other, left with only memories of the past they shared.

**Author's Note: **The song that is used is "If You See Him, If You See Her," which is a duet with Reba McEntire and Brooks Dunn. I have another chapter already written. Let me know if it is worth updating. I would love any and all reviews. :)

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**_If you see him._**

_If you see him, tell him I wish him well. How am I doing? Well sometimes it's hard to tell. I still miss him more than ever. But please don't say a word. If you see him. If you see him._

Lorelai was moseying out of Doose's market when she collided with someone nearly dropping her nachos. _'Taylor would have had a fit.'_ Lorelai inwardly thought and smiled almost wishing she had dropped them, but thought better of it because after all she was hungry.

"Ooops…sorry I'm such a … klutz." Lorelai finished slowly realizing just whom she had almost barreled over. Lorelai smiled tightly not knowing exactly what to say.

"Lorelai, hey!" Liz exclaimed. "It's been a while since I've seen you last."

Both left out the reason why they had not seen each other in so long. Neither knew what to say. Liz knew of the breakup between Lorelai and her brother, but she still didn't know why. Luke was not the most talkative guy. In fact, she hadn't seen him since he left town and that was a month ago.

"Liz, um, yeah it has been a while." Lorelai replied and quickly pasted a smile on her face. She had to fight back the questions that were trying to escape her mouth. She just wanted to know if he was okay. If he missed her at all. If he still loved her. If he ever loved her at all.

"So, uh, how is he?" Lorelai asked before she could stop herself. Wanting to smack herself on the forehead and scream out "Doh!" She almost cursed aloud for asking. _'How is he?'_ Lorelai thought. _'What kind of stupid question is that? You broke his heart and drove him out of town. How do you think he is?'_ She cringed just thinking of hurting Luke, but quickly regained her composure before Liz could tell.

"Well, you know Luke. He always manages to get by." Liz replied wanting to butt in just this once and get to the bottom of why Luke and Lorelai didn't make it. She knew they were just perfect for each other.

"He opened up a new diner in Danbury. It's a cute little joint." Liz trailed off seeing the hurt in Lorelai's face.

"How have you been doing?" She questioned hoping to get an honest answer out of someone.

Lorelai closed her eyes for a moment before responding her customary response to anyone who asked her that question lately, "I'm fine. The Dragonfly is keeping me swamped with work. You know how new businesses are."

At this Lorelai paused realizing that Luke now had his own new business in Danbury. Her breath caught in her throat and she had to pause to make sure she didn't cry. She could not cry. She was Lorelai Gilmore. Independent woman. She didn't need a man to make her happy, especially Luke. And she definitely would not cry in front of his sister. She took a deep breath before opening her eyes again and looking back at Liz.

Liz sighed, "Yeah, I know the Renaissance Fair circuit keeps me and T.J. pretty busy too." She paused before continuing. "Have you talked to him recently? I'm sure he would like to hear from you."

Lorelai snorted before replying dryly. "I seriously doubt that."

Liz looked back at Lorelai skeptically, "Well, I'm around if you ever want to talk or if you need a phone number."

Lorelai smiled ruefully and replied, "Thanks. And if you talk to him tell him…" '_I love him and I miss him and I am so sorry.'_ Lorelai shook her head as if to escape from her thoughts,_ "_On second thought, you better not tell him anything, but thanks."

Liz smiled sadly at Lorelai. "Well, I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah, I guess so." With that Lorelai continued walking, past the empty diner towards her house. She tried to walk faster, but she couldn't escape the emotions that were haunting her as she felt hot tears beginning to slide down her cheeks.

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**End of Chapter 1**

Please review. If would make me so happy. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own anything.

**Author's Note: **I just wanted to thank everybody who reviewed! It made me so happy. :) Let me know how you like this chapter and if you guys still want more I am currently finishing the final touches on Chapter 3, which is a lot longer than Chapters 1 and 2. On with the show …

* * *

_Previously in **"If You See Him"** … _

_With that Lorelai continued walking, past the empty diner towards her house. She tried to walk faster, but she couldn't escape the emotions that were haunting her as she felt hot tears beginning to slide down her cheeks._

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**If you see her.**

_If you see her, tell her I'm doing fine. And if you want to, say that I think of her from time to time. Ask her if she ever wonders where we both went wrong. If you see her. If you see her. I still want her._

"Luke's." Luke replied as he answered his customary greeting in his new diner. He still couldn't believe he was here. How did he end up feeling about a million miles away from home, all because of a woman? Well, Lorelai was not just any woman, but still he was here because of her. He sighed inwardly and tried to focus on the order he was taking over the phone. _'No more thoughts of Lorelai. Not now or ever.'_ He stubbornly reminded himself.

Finishing his order he heard the bell over the door jingle as he looked up to see who had entered. He almost groaned aloud seeing it was his sister. She had been calling weekly to "check in" with him and now here she was in person. _'Well, at least she didn't bring T.J.'_ He thought to himself.

Time to put on the happy face. "Liz, hey! What are you doing here?" Luke asked while pulling his sister into a hug. "Well, I figured I hadn't really seen your new place, so why not today, right?" Liz smiled at Luke, but he could sense that she had ulterior motives.

"Right." Luke replied skeptically. "Come. Sit. Have some pie." Liz laughed. "Oh Luke, some things never change." Luke smiled, but thought to himself, _'Yet, some things do.'_

After Liz finished her pie and a cup of coffee Luke sat beside her ready to find out why she was really here. "So…" Liz began slowly. "I ran into Lorelai the other day."

Luke groaned. He should have known it would have to do with Lorelai. He stood up shoving the chair back in place.

"Liz, I've got work to do." With that he slipped into the back leaving his sister sitting at the counter shaking her head watching him leave.

After a few moments Liz sighed audibly and headed in the direction her brother went. "Luke?" She called looking for him. It was strange that he was no longer in their father's old store. She walked through the hallway and found him in a small office with his head in his hands. "Luke?" She repeated slowly and quietly as if a normal volume would cause him to break. She had never seen her brother like this. He was always the strong one. He was the one who fixed things for her. He was the "good one" as she and Lorelai had once called him.

Slowly, Luke raised his head and met his sister's eyes. He was tired. He was both physically and emotionally exhausted. From losing the one person he thought he could actually spend his life with, to moving, opening a new business, he just wasn't sure how much more he could take. He sighed before carefully choosing his words.

"I don't want to talk about … her."

He shook his head, almost laughing at himself for not even being able to say her name out loud. It hurt too much. The pain was too fresh.

"Okay." Liz replied. After a few moments she continued, "I think she misses you, Luke." Luke almost looked hopeful for a moment before he remembered why they broke up in the first place.

He glared at his sister for a moment and then confessed. "Look, I just can't do this right now. I just can't." Liz nodded her head.

"Well, I'm here if you ever need to talk. I know how many times you have been there for me. If you need anything, anything at all, you can call me."

Luke smiled ruefully at his sister, "Thanks. I know." With that Liz turned and left, leaving Luke alone with his thoughts.

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**End of Chapter 2**

Please read and review. :) :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:**I still don't own anything.

**Author's Note: **Thanks again for those who reviewed. I really appreciate the feedback. Let me know what you think of this chapter. I tried to include some things that were happy in the midst of the sadness. On with the show …

* * *

_Previously in **"If You See Him"** … _

_"I don't want to talk about … her."_

_"Well, I'm here if you ever need to talk. I know how many times you have been there for me. If you need anything, anything at all, you can call me."_

_Luke smiled ruefully at his sister, "Thanks. I know." With that Liz turned and left, leaving Luke alone with his thoughts._

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_And I still need him so._

Lorelai sat staring up at the ceiling. Sleep just wasn't coming tonight. It was no use to try. All she could focus on was the fact that he wasn't there next to her. She had always been used to sleeping alone, but now her bed just felt empty without Luke. She had never realized how spacious it really was without him there. It had been six weeks and four days since they broke up. It had been four weeks, three days, since he had packed up and left town. The diner sat empty. No sign on the door, just empty. Everyday Lorelai walks past it. She doesn't consider herself a masochist; it's just her punishment. She walks by everyday to remind herself that she ruined the best relationship that she had ever been in. She had finally found it, the whole package, which is exactly why she pushed him away. She didn't mean to, she was just scared, so she did what she always does. She ran. He tried to stop her, but when Lorelai Gilmore is set on something, there is no changing her mind. That is until it is too late.

* * *

**Before the breakup …**

"Luke!" Lorelai cheerfully called as she hurried in the diner.

"Luke? Where are you?" Lorelai grinned devilishly and thought, _'Yes, perfect time to use my girlfriend privileges. I'll just slip back here unnoticed and get some of Luke's glorious coffee. Who cares if a sack of potatoes falls on my head, it'll be worth it.'_ Lorelai giggled slightly at the thought and just as she was about to sneak a cup of coffee, she felt an arm slide around her waist.

"Just what do you think you are doing?" Luke grinned as Lorelai turned to face him with a guilty look on her face.

"Well, you see, I noticed you weren't here, so I figured I'd save you the trouble and get my own coffee. See aren't I just the nicest girlfriend?" Lorelai finished giving Luke what she considered her most adorable smile while stroking his chest seductively.

Luke laughed and replied dryly, "Oh, yes, you are just terrific."

With that he pushed her to the other side of the counter and finished pouring her a cup of coffee. "Hmmpf…I detected sarcasm in that statement Mr. Danes. It is definitely not appreciated. Here I came, bearing good news, but now I don't think I'll tell you." She looked up at Luke and tried to gauge how well her bait was working.

Luke just smiled and said, "Oh well, I guess I'll never know."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Luuuukkke. You are supposed to beg me to tell you my good news."

Luke chuckled, "Why beg you, when I know you will just tell me anyways."

Lorelai sighed. "Hmm…I guess your right, but only this once." She grinned up at him and said, "Luke, this is the kind of news that I need to tell you upstairs in your apartment. Alone." Lorelai added this last part while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Luke tried to hide his grin, "Well, then lead the way milady."

* * *

**Present Day…**

Lorelai sighed trying to ignore the memory of that evening or of what they really did up in his apartment. _'That was then. This is now.'_ Lorelai reminded herself. _'You choose this path. You wanted out. You got it.'_ Lorelai snorted at this thought. Yep, she definitely got what she asked for, but it was definitely not what she wanted. She wanted him to be lying next to her. She wanted to wake up to the smell of coffee brewing and a note on her pillow telling her to meet him at the diner. She wanted him to make her dinner or even to yell at her for doing something to annoy him. She wanted to have his flannel wearing, coffee loving children. She wanted Luke, plain and simple. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but it was too late for that. She ruined her own chance. He was going to ask, but she made sure he didn't. In fact, she made sure so well, that he broke up with her. Lorelai turned to her side and realized that her pillow was wet with escaped tears. She sat up and walked to her closet, pulling out the only thing she has left to remind her of him. His blue flannel shirt. She strips off her Hello Kitty pajamas and replaces it with just his flannel shirt. She then walks downstairs to the kitchen. She figures if she isn't going to sleep she might as well have some coffee.

* * *

**Before the breakup … **

"Come on Luke. I can't go to sleep without a nice cup of coffee. Pretty please with a coffee bean on top?"

Lorelai poked Luke in the ribs as he lie beside her. She thought she could annoy him enough to get him to make her some coffee. Luke sighed and rolled over on his side of the bed to face her.

"Lorelai, it is 2:15 in the morning." He stressed the word morning before continuing. "There is no way you could convince me to get up, when I have to leave for the diner in four hours by the way, to make you a cup of coffee." Lorelai sighed.

"Fine." She drawled out dramatically. "I will make my own coffee."

As she tried to get up, he quickly turned and grabbed her by the end of his blue flannel shirt that she was wearing.

"Oh no you don't, you are staying right here with me." Lorelai smiled and settled back into Luke's arms.

"Well, look at you Mr. Take Charge man. It's kind of sexy." Lorelai giggled at this.

"Sleep, Lorelai." Luke commanded playfully.

"Fine, fine. I will go to sleep. But there better be extra coffee in the morning." She snuggled up close to him and kissed his chest before closing her eyes.

"Goodnight, Lorelai." Luke replied and kissed her before drifting off to sleep. Lorelai smiled as she looked at his sleeping form.

"Goodnight, Luke." She paused a moment before whispering, "I love you." She always waited until he was asleep to tell him.

* * *

**Present Day…**

Lorelai reached for the now full coffee pot and poured the hot steamy liquid into her mug. She settled down at the kitchen table.

"Ughh." She said aloud. _'Why didn't I ever tell him?'_ She thought to herself and sighed dramatically.

After the pot of coffee was emptied she headed back upstairs to her empty bedroom. Just before she opened the door she allowed herself to pretend for a moment that the last six weeks had all been a bad dream and that when she opened the door she would find him sprawled out on her bed with his mouth slightly opened, snoring softly. She wiped away a single tear that had escaped and shook her head, but it was not enough to prepare her for the empty feeling she once again received when she opened the door and found that he was still gone.

She headed over to her bed, flipped on her bedside lamp and put on her reading glasses. She pulled out a romance novel that she had been reading months ago that was shoved underneath the side of her mattress. She had hidden it from Luke so he wouldn't be able to mock her about reading a silly book that would only further rot her mind.

_'I guess he can't mock me now. See this is a good thing. I can read whatever I want with no one here to mock me.' _Internally she tried to make herself believe that she was better off.

As she opened the book where she had last marked her place, her whole body stiffened at the picture that had fallen from the marked pages. It was a picture of her and Luke. They had both fallen asleep during a movie, coincidently "_Hard Bodies_," and when Rory found them, she quickly snapped the candid picture. Lorelai studied the picture for a moment, running her fingers across the slick, glossy paper. She allowed herself to think of memories of Luke once again. She remembered when they were together. She remembered when they were happy.

Without warning, it was as if the floodgates had opened as tears began to flow freely. She then lay back on her bed still holding the picture, letting her now forgotten novel fall to the floor. As she collected herself from her unexpected outburst she turned off her light, set her glasses on the bedside stand and curled up into a ball on her side, still grasping the picture tightly towards her chest. She lied quietly for a moment before the silent sobs of a desperate woman took her again. Eventually she cried until there were no more tears. She was exhausted and felt like the whole that was left in her heart since Luke had gone had only grown because of her latest display of emotions.

_'I never thought I could miss someone so much.'_ Then as she did every night, she whispered into the empty room, "I still love you, Luke." She then drifted off into a fitful, yet dreamless sleep.

* * *

**End of Chapter 3**

A/N: I think that next chapter will have Luke and Lorelai talking for the first time since the breakup. Let me know what you guys think.


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